DAY 12

September 22, 2011

5PM: I slept most of the day today, again. Every time I woke up, I just thought “nope – not gonna risk it. It’s too easy to get a smoke – too easy to smoke it. I MUST get through the first 72 hours – even if I have to SLEEP through them. I made it through them all awake and brave last week, and that didn’t help when on day four I just caved in. All that suffering – for naught. I’m just legitimately TIRED. Tired of the Drama of The Quit. It doesn’t deserve this much of my energy. I’m thinking a lot about once of my favorite films – A Beautiful Mind. Russell Crowe plays genius and Nobel Laureate John Nash. In like an ‘Eyelash on the Finger’ small way, I’m relating to how hard it must have been for him to ignore his long-time “best friends” – to get on with his life without them. They didn’t disappear without a tooth & nail fight – and they forever popped in & out, just in case he were to be found in a moment of weakness and just might entertain them once again. I imagine that is how the Quit will go. Even years from now, the Crave will be waiting, with a magnifying glass – for a chink in my Armor of Resolve – for a glass of wine to drop my guard – nudging me to take “just one little puff… whatever, whenever… But all that matters is right now – for now it’s ONE DAY, ONE HOUR at a time. And I’m 53 hours closer to FREEDOM

Success has been, and continues to be defined as ‘Getting up ONE MORE TIME than you’ve been knocked down.’

I’m going to get something productive done. I’ve slept for two whole days – but the world keeps spinning and my Life isn’t on “pause”… so I have to get some things DONE. I’m also going to do some Yoga and go for a walk. I’ll let you know how the rest of today goes. Good luck to you for your today. ❤ L

I watched this video right after I finished writing this…. GLORY. Just what I needed! TRUST ME….  WATCH IT. It will light a fire under you … a BONFire. ;O)


‎The LORD upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.  – (Psalm 145:14)

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