Sept. 15, 2011 – DAY FIVE : There seems to be a fierce part of me clinging to these malditos cigarrillos. I KNOW it’s my rebellious side – I can feel her. That nature in me that wants to flip off the whole world. I know you’re too wonderful and kind to have this middle-finger side of you, but I do. Thankfully she doesn’t come out to play very often, although I’m sure there is someone out there, right now, who would chuckle and disagree. If they only knew. ;o) I will say, that when she does come for a visit, she demands the Penthouse Suite…. and she usually gets it. Well it seems this little vixen has decided to move in, so I guess it’s time to establish some “boundaries”. OFF WITH HER HEAD! Okay. Maybe not that drastic – she does have her uses. Actually, she really values her FREEDOM. If I can manage to change her mind, convince her that she needs to rebel against the chains of these little devils…
Sept. 16th, 2011 – DAY SIX :
3:00 PM: It’s been a busy day – I feel lost. So much to DO before this AuthenChic Adventure takes flight. I feel like I’m dancing with my own Shadow. Like a Dead Man Walking. Not in the sense of someone sentenced to Capitol Punishment, but a different sort of Death is certainly about to occur – and every ounce of me feels it. Busting out of your Cocoon is Messy Business. ❤
*NOTE : Please don’t think I haven’t noticed that my “caving in” and puffing ALWAYS happens well after MIDNIGHT. I’m a total night owl. Always have been. I go ALL DANG DAY without a puff. It’s during the ‘small hours’ that I go tumbling down a wicked Rabbit Hole. Even if I’m on a schedule where I must wake up every single DAY at 5AM, I’m still up this late. It seems that I need to modify this particular cycle of my utterly Nocturnal Nature in order to break THIS HABIT. And mind you, fellow quitter-wanna-be’s… or SUCCESSFUL GENIUS HEROES … that’s ALL THIS IS… a HaBiT. An Addictive, Chemically Intoxicating, smelly-ass HABIT. It doesn’t deserve the Grimy-Lung-Killing Power which WE GIVE it. Tomorrow is Day Seven. And I don’t believe in accidents.