Sept.12, 2011 – DAY TWO: Today was much harder than yesterday for some reason. The morning wasn’t so bad, but around 3pm that ‘dull ache’ came back with a vengeance. I spent most of the day online reading Joel’s material on WhyQuit – and it helped. Then my friend came home early and first thing she did was smoke a cigarette. Granted, it was outside – and she actually misplaced her smokes for a little while because she had attempted to hide them somewhere that wouldn’t be an “in my face” temptation – so that was nice of her. But she’s also been out in the garage smoking for almost 1/2 hour now… and don’t think I’m not sitting here smelling it and debating with myself that I could always quit “when I leave town”, or whatever. Nope. 9/11 is my Quit Date.
If there exists no possibility of failure, then victory is meaningless.
8:30PM: End of Day Two. Grrr. Ok – I caved. I’m not going into details because it doesn’t matter – even ONE PUFF is cheating, in my opinion, so I “cheated”. I’m keeping my QUIT DATE as 9/11 – because as long as I don’t cheat again in the next 19 days – I’m still home free. I want to be 100% honest here – hence AUTHENCHIC Adventures – so I had to come clean about the cheat. No lying by omission. But Í also am NOT going to beat myself up, or use the slip as an excuse to “just go ahead and smoke now, cause you’ve done mussed up” – Nope. I’m on a mission. ** I can’t add our “Progress” on this one – I’ll add it when I hit the 48 hour mark 100% Puffless. ;0) **
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy, for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another. – (Anatole France)