Lighter, Lighter, Smoke on Fire… (Quit Smoking / Week Two)

May 21, Day 10

Why am I quitting again? In a house full of happy smokers? What was that? I can’t hear you over the Dragon sweet-talking me… (have you ever seen DragonHeart? With the friendly dragon?) Anyway… apparently some days are harder than others. I haven’t had the pleasure or help of many comments, so I’m not sure if anyone in the vast world of WP has quit with me (I’m assuming not, at this point) – oh my my my – it sound like I just may be having a bit of a Pity Party. Day ten was difficult – but I went to sleep tonight without going on a date with Puff-Puff the Smoking Dragon. Yay for my lungs and heart and breath and skin and circulation….

May 20, Day 9

My mama sent me the 50-day encouragement/benefit to quit smoking list yesterday which helped her a great deal during her quit. She’s smoke free for two years TOMORROW!!!!!  Yay Mama!!!! WTG!!  Personally, I think she should go out and by something grand with all the dough she has saved over the past two years…. roughly $4400… (or she can send it to ME for my trip!!!! ;o) …) Just kidding mama)  but in all sincerity, I really think it makes complete sense to reward yourself with something financially equivalent to the money you would otherwise have spent on those smelly killers. Anyway, had a few rough moments today, but all in all not torturous. If I hadn’t ENJOYED smoking so much, I would say this is as easy as pie. It’s not the physical withdrawals that are killers, it’s being attracted to the abuser.

May 19, Day 8

Today was way harder than yesterday. Not unbearable, but the urges were more intense. My friends were smoking a lot so the smell was constantly wafting into the  house… but I made it through the day. 😉 Once again, a lot of deep breathing. And I honestly think that, besides the empowerment by  the Lord in moments of weakness, you REALLY HAVE TO WANT TO QUIT.

May 18th, Day 7

I’m not sure if it was getting through the difficult first six days that helped, but today wasn’t so bad. Had about four “moments” where I was like, “hmmm, a smoke would be tasty right about now…” –  but the moments passed quickly – even with smokers around. I’m giving ALL praise to God for the grace i found today. I don’t want to assume I’m over the proverbial hump whatsoever. But I am grateful for a day of much grace. ;o)

 FALLING….  Like weebles, just Get Back Up.

Smokin' Yoga Pose...... not.

So. Fitness Training smoker…. (please don’t think I’m the only guilty one here folks… I’ve had many a toke with colleagues in the “Fitness Biz”…) But I don’t want to be a hypocrite anymore. Gotta practice what we preach, right? I started smoking in my early teens and just LIKED it. I quit in ’98 for several years, but “just one puff” awoke the demon with a vengeance.
May 14 – 17 , Days 7 – 10
Having smokers around so soon after quitting was too much for me. I caved and “puffed”… I’m not blaming anyone but myself, so don’t get me wrong, but it was just too much for ME. I convinced myself that having a puff of a cherry flavored PT wasn’t really smoking… GOSH the lies we tell ourselves; it would be funny if it wasn’t so sad! BUT DON’T GIVE UP!!!
SO. If you’re really tempted, like I was, to take just that one little puff… or have just one little stogie, remember that each & every cigarette travel in packs…
And yes, smoking cherry flavored Prime Time cigars or “organic” cigs still makes you a smoker… and is NOT cooler. Just saying…
So I am not counting the 14th  thru the 17th of May as Quit Days. Boo.


SLAVE to Whom you OBEY (Quit SMokinG / Week ONE)

Breathless – by Tsugami

May 8, Day 1 – It’s Mother’s Day, and strangely I am glad I had the day alone. I’ve been having cravings on and off all day. Some severe urges, some nagging. I’ve had to speak aloud to myself on occasion. I’ve had to start this record to get through one of them!  ;o) I am going to sleep soon to stop the insanity.

May 9, Day 2 – Another hard one. Bad enough that I didn’t get around to even writing about it until today,    … which is …

May 10, Day 3 –  One craving yesterday lasted over an hour straight – so that five minute rule can be *singing* BoGUs!  Today was a bit better, I think. I don’t know what to compare it to. I have a LOT of nervous energy – I can totally tell this part of the ‘withdrawals’ is definitely physiological. I’ve gotten online several times to just read, and re-read the benefits of quitting – looking at smoker’s lungs  etc. – and am trying to remember that the last time I quit (for several years) I always told people the “anticipation of quitting is WAY worse than the actual quitting itself” – so I’m taking my encouragement to heart.  If the cravings start to feel overwhelming – it’s time to go ‘sleep it off’.  This is my choice. I want to be around for my daughter and don’t want Mom to have to bury a child. I don’t want to suffer some nasty smoke-related illness or death. Smoking is just gross. But so lovely and seductive in its grossness.  It won’t have me tonight though. Nope.

May 11, Day 4 – Today was the worst so far. I chewed a straw to beyond it’s grave. Deep Breathing helped A LOT. I think the cravings might be getting fewer – although they seem to last longer than the “average” five minutes I’ve been reading so much about. I’ve needed to keep my hands busy as well. I’ve taken to using some self-prescribed herb when desperate, which admittedly has helped as well. Sometimes SLEEP is the best deterrent.


May 12, Day 5 –  Today was better than yesterday. I cleaned house from top to bottom, trying to keep busy. Again, A LOT OF DEEP BREATHING. I inhale slowly and deeply through the nose, filling my lunge to capacity; then exhale slowly letting my head, neck and shoulders completely relax. When I think about it, I would often have a smoke to “relax”. I apparently have a ton of  “nervous energy” and the act of sitting down for a smoke chilled me out. I believe it was the act of taking that nice long “drag” –  the inhalation process – that relaxed me. I don’t know. I DO know that, for me, the slow deep breaths I take when hit with a craving work instantly & immensely.

My friend came home tonight from being out of town for over ten days – she brought her daughter (who’s very cool btw) with her. Though stoked to see both of them, it was a true test of my will as they both smoke. SO… shiny new full packs of the beasts, right in my face… taunting me. By the Grace of God there was no real desire to partake. I mean, sure, i envied in some sick way that they got to go out and enjoy a good smoke while i sat inside “deep breathing’, but i don’t WANT to smoke anymore. The end of it is death. It’s a courtship of falsehood – an abusive relationship – a big fat lie. Cigarettes ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND.

May 13, Day 6

Sometimes visuals speak louder than words…

With my friends home and smoking, it has been tremendously more difficult to abstain. I have, but with torturous effort. I really have to remember how ugly and gross the habit is – and remember that God’s strength is made perfect in my weakness…

Malditos Cigarrillos!! Quit Smoking with me TODAY!!

UPDATED: SEPTEMBER 11th, 2011        Last Update 9/30/11

If there exists no possibility of failure, then victory is meaningless.

Okay. It’s almost FOUR MONTHS LATER to the day, and I’m trying AGAIN. I did great, then not so great – then BAM!

It’s okay. Here we go again. Being SEPTEMBER 11th, 2011 – I feel good about choosing today to quit. Hopefully this is the LAST TIME I will ever have to go through this quit smoking BS ever again. And it has to be Cold Turkey for me – I’m just too much of an “all or nothin” kind of girl…


In May, I waited a week to post. I wanted to get through the worst of it first. This time, however, I will update this post every day and share how I am doing. I will do this for 21 days. It may get a little ugly – but hopefully it will be mostly words of encouragement. I will think of all the families who lost loved ones on 9/11/01… from no fault of their own. I will think of how WRONG it is – what a slap in the Face of Life it is, to slowly poison yourself to death on purpose.

Wish me luck. If you’re reading this, and you too are trying to quit, my prayers and thoughts are with you. Good luck to you. Feel free to comment and share any tips or struggles you have… you don’t need to be on WordPress to comment. I’d love some feedback this time.

On your mark, get set……


WEEK ONE – Sept. 11 – 17, 2011   

WEEK TWO – Sept. 18 – 24, 2011

* Days 15 & 16 * :  9/25 & 9/26/11

* Days 17 – 20 * :  9/27 – 9/30/11

Obviously things are going easier – otherwise I would be posting more frequently, yes? Although cravings come & go – they are usually quick to pass. Keep in mind that my “roomie” is still smoking at least a pack a day – so the smell still gets to me throughout the day & night.

I will share with you that I had one craving, yesterday (9/29), that brought me to literal tears. And once again, God came rushing to my rescue. My friend had to run into the bank – I decided to wait in the car and read my book (The Great Gatsby). Well – for whatever reason, she was in there for nearly an HOUR. I was fine for the most part, but after about 30 -40 minutes I began to get extremely restless. Her pack of cigarettes was so readily available it was almost unfair. I did my deep breathing, I talked out loud to myself (saying NO), I wiggled in my seat & kept reading. Eventually, however, it got unbearable. The devil on my shoulder kept tugging roughly at my ear…”No one will know!! You can have JUST ONE… you’ve gone long enough that ONE won’t put you back… c’mon… just have one already, you’ll be fine!”

I am not exaggerating when I say tears welled up in my eyes as I prayed to God; “Lord, PLEASE HAVE HER COME OUT OF THAT BANK RIGHT NOW!!!! Please! Have Mercy – I can’t handle this one more second….” 

And i am not exaggerating when i tell you that the moment I had gotten that prayer off my lips & turned to look over my shoulder toward the bank, that my eyes most joyfully & thankfully saw her white tank top, blue jeans and Sgt. Pepper the Service Labrador! She was kindly holding the door for someone coming IN as she was heading OUT. She strolled up to my window, with absolutely NO CLUE how long she’d been in there (socializing Sgt. Pepper), and as she began to start telling me all that had happened I just smiled and burst into tears. Good tears at this point. Grateful tears.

I took a deep breath, smiled in relief – quickly explained what had just happened & asked her if she could tell me her stories later – could we please get the ‘hell’ out of that parking lot???

I strangely had residual cravings for the rest of the night that were more noticeable than had been thus far – but I didn’t surrender to any of them. So – I’m now coming to the end of DAY EIGHT (9/30) … totally & completely SMOKE FREE!!!!

——-       ——-       ——–       ——-       ——–       ——-       ——-      ——-

9/30 : 9PM – Tonight I am to the point where I am seriously ready to give it ALL UP for ONE freakin’ puff of ONE smoke. How ridiculous is that? Am i?   It just goes to show you that quitting for a week does not equal quitting smoking –

if i go for it – if i have that ONE PUFF – I’m going to have completely wasted the last eight days – and I will start again – at HOUR ONE. I’ve been on YOUTUBE for over 30 minutes now – watching videos of smoker’s lungs and the lameness of smoking and everything i CAN to make the BRAIN & SPIRIT part of me win out over the FLESH part of me that wants terribly to say “f” it and smoke a dam cigarette.

For those that think once you get past the first week and you’re fine…….  LIARS.

Especially if you are stuck with someone in your home (or living area – like a dorm room or roommate) – who SMOKES languidly – enjoying it all the more b/c YOU quit in front of them…. like they’re shoving it in your smoke-free FACE…. mocking you … like HA HA… let’s just SEE if you stay quit.

just saying.

11pm – Going to bed – smoke free – painfully….. smoke…… free….. Did i say PAINFULLY? Tonight SUCKED.









Ok – quick random post. I’ll tag you under “FITNESS” and maybe start a Mother’s Day revolution. I quit SMOKING!!!

Did anyone else quit smoking for Mother’s Day?  For SO MANY REASONS… Mother’s day is a magically powerful day to say adiós to the sticky-tar-flaming-comfort that is Ultimately & QuiTe LiTerAlly the demon Stogie.

I’ve begun referring to un cigarrillo as the “Condescending Thief”.

Every time the urge sweeps violently, or tenderly, I simply respond “Quand les poules auront des dents” … or Hell to tha No.

Deep Breathing – – –

I’ll post my first seven-day “log” on the Hell of Quitting tomorrow. Who’s gonna quit WITH ME??????  Misery may love company… but victory loves a crowd. ❤